Girl Talk
by Pepsi Dragon
Summary: Guy Talk'...but with girls! The girls...the park...and an icecream van...oh yeah...and maybe some cheeky bits and pieces!


**Written as the alternative of my 'Guy Talk' fanfic…now it's the girl's turn to express themselves…hope you like!**

**Disclaimer: I only own my crazy thoughts!

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Girl Talk

Sakura, Ino, Hinata, Ten Ten and Temari are at the park chilling out and thinking about some wonderful guys, they wished they had possession of. Hinata is standing next to an ice-cream truck, that has wandered its way into their lives and the guy inside it wished he hadn't. Temari is fanning Sakura, Ino and Ten Ten, making there swings go frighteningly high.

"Aiiii! T-Temari!" Sakura squealed, her legs dangling a good twelve feet in the air, "S-Stop! I'm scared of heights!"

"Arrgh! Stop it!" Ino screeched, clinging on for dear life, as the world flashed before her eyes.

"Aww! Stop being a wuss!" Ten Ten giggled, thoroughly enjoying the wind in her hair…um buns.

"Um…what flavours do you want?" Hinata asked sheepishly (thank God she only stutters when Naruto's around!)

Temari stopped fanning abruptly and stuck the pretty, yet deadly weapon in the gravel before her, and then leaned over it nonchalantly. The swings jerked slightly rapidly downwards, at having the wind beneath their wings being so suddenly stopped.

"Hmm…I'll have chocolate please…" Temari said grinning, "…for some reason chocolate reminds me of Shikamaru."

Hinata turned to the ice-cream man, "One chocolate please."

"Ooh! Shikamaru!" Ten Ten giggled, doing a back flip and landing safely on the ground, whilst Sakura and Ino yelped as the swings threw them roughly onto the gravel.

"Yaow!" Ino cursed, "I've grazed my knees!"

"Ow…me too!" Sakura whined.

And then these two girls looked at each other for comfort, water in their eyes.

"Yes…Shikamaru…" Temari said the name, as if it were and ice-cream, and before she knew it, she'd said, "I'd like to lick him…"

"What!" Ten Ten giggled maniacally, bending over and clutching her stomach.

"Um…sorry, didn't mean to voice my thoughts." Temari said cheekily, with a naughty grin on her face.

The ice-cream man, had already made a chocolate scooped cone and had placed it neatly in on of those plastic cone racks, on window ledge of the van.

"What other flavours?" Hinata asked blushing, wanting to get the thoughts of Temari _licking_ a guy, out of her 'innocent' head.

"I want vanilla!" Sakura and Ino said in unison, before turning to glare furiously at each other.

"Stop copying me!" Ino shrieked, putting her slender hands on her slim hips.

"No _you_ stop copying me!" Sakura hissed, crossing her arms.

"You mean the way you copy each other in liking that pathetic saddo Sasuke?" Temari asked, sitting herself comfortably on a swing.

Ten Ten plonked herself next to Temari and chuckled, "Yeah, _what is_ that all about?"

"Um…two vanillas…" Hinata mumbled, as this conversation went on.

"I love Sasuke the most! And he is NOT a saddo!" Sakura said defiantly, standing up and kicking the gravel about.

"Sakura you fat foreheaded freak!" Ino yelled, as dust and gravel shot into her face by accident, "Stop that! I love Sasuke the most!"

The ice-cream man placed two more cones on the stands and waited for more orders, tapping his scoop impatiently in his hand.

"Um…Ten Ten…" Hinata began, but then Ino and Sakura starting bickering mega loudly.

"Ino pig!"

"Fatso forehead!"

"Bimbo!"

"Pinky!"

Temari sighed, "Look…If you want, I know a way we can determine, who loves Sasuke the most."

"What?" Both Sakura and Ino asked, almost screamed, sweaty and hoarse.

"Um…ice-cream?" Hinata said quietly, looking from girl to girl, but no one was really paying any attention to her.

"Ooh! Tell us!" Ten Ten cooed, swinging her legs wildly and excited.

"Okay…I'll ask you a question concerning your favourite guy…or any other guy…and you must answer it _truthfully_." Temari said, grinning mischievously.

"Me first!" Sakura chimed, jumping up and down like a psycho hyped up on sugar.

Ino growled, but kept quiet.

"Ice-cream?" Hinata asked again frowning…she hated being ignored.

"Okay…Sakura…" Temari said in a mysterious whispery voice, as the girls leaned in excitedly, "…tell me your favourite dream…with Sasuke in it."

Sakura blushed light pink and then crimson, "I…um…"

"Well?" Ten Ten asked eyes widening in frustration, "Tell us…or…is it too naughty to tell!"

Ino gasped, a hand flying to her mouth, "Sakura you pervert! What _have_ you been dreaming!"

Hinata ignored the ice-cream man's annoyed glares as she too showed great interest in the pink-haired girl's answer.

"I-I um…" Sakura regained her composure and struggled to maintain a less pink complexion, "…well one time…I dreamt me and Sasuke um…and Naruto…were alone…in the forest…"

"Sakura you bitch!" Ino yelled, multiple veins pulsating over her normally pretty head.

"What!" Sakura yelped, as Ino began beating Sakura with her forehead protector.

"Oi! Oi!" Temari said waving her fan elegantly and sending the quarrelling kunoichi rolling across the ground.

"Ow! My knees!" Sakura wailed.

"Ow! My elbows _and_ ass!" Ino growled.

Hinata giggled quietly, but this time all the girls turned their attention to her.

"What's so funny!" Ino demanded.

"Hm…um…you said ass…I um…often think of Naruto-kun's ass…tight buns and all…"

All the girls' jaws dropped open and their eyes nearly popped out.

"Hinata! You have rude little thoughts? Just like normal teenage girls!" Sakura gasped.

"Wow." Ten Ten giggled, "What else can do you think?"

Hinata blushed, but was given confidence in the sudden wholeheartedness of the other girls.

"I-I um…One time…I dreamt Naruto k-kissed me…and then we um…got naked…" Hinata mumbled, her blush deepening.

It was Ino's turn to gasp, the others had been stunned into total silence, "What! _Hinata!_"

Hinata giggled nervously, "Um…don't worry I woke up before anything else happened 'cause I um…well…was too embarrassed to let the dream go on…"

The ice-cream man sighed and decided to take a nap, sitting on the little chair in the middle of the van.

"Wow…I don't believe it…" Ten Ten said swinging gently, "The naughtiest dream I ever had was of Neji and Lee both nude in a hot tub with me."

"Naked?" Ino giggled.

"Hot tub?" Sakura gasped, "Why don't I have such dreams with Sasuke! All I get is ones with Sasuke and Naruto dressed in thongs and trying to kill each other!"

Hinata gasped clapping two delicate hands together and looking excited in a much un-Hinata type way, "T-That…it sounds so _sexy_…"

"Hinata said Naruto and Sasuke were sexy! Oh my God, what is the world coming to!" Temari chuckled, swinging so high, you could see her black undies, or whatever is under that dress.

Hinata blushed deeply and Ino pouted, "_Sakura_…I _envy_ you…I want your dreams!"

"Hmm…I have much better dreams than any of you though…" Temari cooed, swinging so high, she could twist over the frame and back again if she wanted.

"What's that?" Asked Ten Ten curiously.

"Hmm…lets just say there's always Shikamaru wearing nothing but whipped cream and a cherry…" Temari grinned, the lewdest grin that ever existed, I swear she could have beaten Jiraiya with _that_ expression!

The girls all burst out in unison of naughty cackling laughter, shocking the ice-cream man back to consciousness.

"H-Hello? Ice-cream?" He asked in a dazed fashion.

Hinata pondered over her thoughts for a moment and then she saw Naruto as a large orange icelolly tangy to the taste buds, so that's what she asked for.

"Um…an orange Naruto lolly please." She said giggling.

Ten Ten shouted across, "Oi! Ice-cream dude! I want a strawberry split! 'Cause it's the colour of Neji and Lee's butts when I've…spanked them…" She finished off the sentence with a flick of the tongue.

The ice-cream man sighed; the other cones had melted, so he had to re-do them again.

The girls retrieved their orders from a much-relieved ice-cream man and sat at a bench continuing their enlightening conversations on guys.

"Hmm…Actually I wish Neji would spank me…" Ten Ten sighed, "An I wish Lee would wear thongs instead of that green thing…ugh…makes him look like Gai sensei…"

All the girls shivered as they pictured the freaky bob haired shiny-toothed sensei. Suddenly their minds warped and they pictured Gai sensei in a thong!

"ARGH!" Ten Ten screamed, shading her eyes.

"No! Ugh gonna be sick!" Temari giggled.

Hinata passed out, "…"

And Sakura and Ino turned green, like Gai's outfit.

"Hmm…actually…no he wouldn't look _that_ bad…" Temari joked, as the girls all turned to glare at her, "Tis a joke!"

"Anyways…more questions!" Ten Ten demanded, licking her ice-cream like a kitten lapping milk up.

"Hmm…okay…" Temari said thoughtfully, "Next question is…which two guys…would you put together as a yaoi?"

"A-A yaoi!" Hinata gasped, waking up from her apparently fake, fainting.

"Yep…you heard…now name 'em."

"Um…um…um…!" The girls thought hard, but couldn't bring themselves to voice their thoughts.

"I'll…um…start…" Hinata volunteered, the 'Naruto lolly' apparently had something to do with this, no doubt!

"Go on girl!" Ten Ten said cheerily.

"Um…I wouldn't mind a Kiba and Shino pairing…they are kind of cute…" Hinata whispered, slightly lost in a daydream.

"Hmm…me…I prefer a tantalising pair…more mature…say…Kakashi sensei and Iruka sensei?" Temari said.

The girls gasped and stared and then horrible, yet wonderful images crossed their minds.

"Ugh…I've got them kissing in my head!" Sakura whined, shaking her pink head wildly, as if trying to shake the thoughts out.

"Ack! I've got them nude _and _kissing in my head!" Ino shrieked clutching her head painfully.

"Oh no! I've got them nude _and_ kissing _and_ using naughty pet names such as _cock-a-doodle-dooey_ and _hob knob dear_ in my head!"

Hinata chuckled, "_Hob knob dear_!"

Temari grinned, "Aah…my job is finally done, I've corrupted the innocent minds of the girls of Konoha!"

Meanwhile, a lot of the male ninjas being mentioned in this girly conversation was being heard by the subjects of the topics themselves! (Does that even make sense! I dunno…I'm tired.)

"Hmm…girls are a scary species…" Shino mumbled.

"Ugh…they freak me out! And I though we were supposed to be the more perverted gender!" Kiba sighed.

Naruto gasped, "Thongs! With _you_!"

Naruto and Sasuke gave each other a disgusted death glare and then backed far, far, FAR away from each other.

"Hmm…me…and Iruka?" Kakashi contemplated this idea and stared at Iruka, who blushed and shook his head rapidly.

"K-Kakashi…don't be getting any ideas!" Iruka shouted, as quietly as he could, "T-These girls are crazy…pms that's what it is! N-No, don't look at me like that!"

Gai curled up, his pride had been shattered amongst his eavesdropping, "T-They…d-don't think I'd look good in a thong!" He sobbed.

Lee patted his sensei on the shoulder, "Don't worry Gai sensei…I think you'd look extremely beautiful in a thong!"

All the guys sweat dropped.

"Damn it! Can't believe Hinata put us in a _yaoi_ pairing!" Kiba growled, "I mean dude! I so do not go for the sunglasses wearing bug geek type!"

Shino stiffened up and he turned away, "And _I _so do not go with smelly mongrel flea bitten types."

There was a rustle in the bushes and Neji fell over in shock, "Oh shit! We're exposed!"

The five girls had finished their ice-creams and had wondered why those bushes were so _alive _and _jiggly_.

"Oh shit! RUN!" Kakashi yelped, as a kunai whizzed past and pinned Sasuke by his trousers to the ground.

"Damn it I'm hit!" Sasuke growled, as the ninjas dashed of in all directions, whilst five psychotic chicks ran after them.

Sasuke ran despite his nailed down trousers and then there was a nice _RIP_.

"Oh shit!" Sasuke yelped as his pants decided to stay behind and he was forced to run around in just some very cute boxers, "Damn it! D-Don't you remember! I'M GAY! Totally Utterly Freaking GAY! GO AWAY!"

Sakura and Ino smirked, "That doesn't matter…we'll just put you in a yaoi pairing and _watch_."

"ARGH! DAMN IT!" The guys screamed, there was no way out…if they were straight, they were doomed to be covered in whipped cream and cherries, stripped and thong-inated…if they pleaded gayness…they were doomed to be yaoi-tised!

Poor…poor…guys… Hehehehe… they were innocent victims against the minds of five psycho teenage girls!

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**Okay…I think I'm done now…I hope I haven't permanently scarred your precious minds…because if they're scarred, you won't be able to review!**


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